Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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