There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
