What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
