Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
