john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Two words: blizzard sex
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
