i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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