Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize