i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Randomize
