I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
