dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
