Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize