hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
