If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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