physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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