READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
