is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
