Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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