I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
