Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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