somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
