her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Randomize