i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
