$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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