i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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