So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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