You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
and she was petting her beer can
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
