Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize
