I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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