Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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