so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
