tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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