she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
