I accidentally had phone sex last night
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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