Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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