3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
