i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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