Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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