would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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