butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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