we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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