I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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