yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
