Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize