I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
