Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
