I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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