Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
we're making bets on your personal life
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Randomize
