If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
