I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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