I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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