tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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