Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize