I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
