You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
