idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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