i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I didn't notice because vodka
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
