Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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