You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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