she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
