Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
