Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
